X stand up comedy champion of the KGB-Putin
During a recent visit to the Kremlin (Moscow) by Israeli prime-minister, Ehud Olmert, the Russian leader, Vladimir Putin made these shocking remarks; apparently an ill-fated attempt at humour,
‘Say hello to your president. What a strong man! He raped ten women! I never expected that from him! We all envy him,”. Comments which weren’t well received by Olmert, who took his time to recover from the jibe and then countered with this line of useless drivel,
‘“Mr. President, I want you to know that we in Israel are very glad that Russia did not show its predominance over Israel at least in football’. Which was a reference to the recent football match in which Israel earned a creditable 1-1 draw with the Russian national team.
On a more serious note, the real reason for Olmert’s visit to the Kremlin was not to trade jokes but to voice concerns over Iran’s continued defiance of strong-arm tactics by the US and demands made by the UN to halt their nuclear endeavours. The Russians have been building a nuclear reactor in Bushehr(Iran) for the Iranians which is designed for producing electricity but from which the technology could be used to expedite the alleged march towards the situation which Israel, and their main benefactors, the US, greatly fear; a nuclear armed Iran. The fuel that will be supplied with the Bushehr reactor, once used, can then be discarded, reprocessed, or used in the manufacture of weapons-grade plutonium.
Looking for friends, Olmert the Oppressor.
Olmert was asking Putin for support in his mission to frighten Iranian president Ahmadinejad away from that situation…
‘(we need to )cause Iran to be afraid that something they do not want to happen to them will happen to them’ said Olmert.
Whether Putin will take any notice of Israeli unease over Tehran’s ambitions is open to debate considering the financial connections between the two countries. Russia have agreements in place to supply Iran with $4bn of arms. Interestingly, Putin also sells weapons to Venezuala and Syria, who are also fiercely despised enemies of the US, and in turn Israel.
Russia are also involved in major energy and military dealings with China, and the East Asian Tigers are themsleves inextricably linked with the Iranians…
‘In March 2004, China’s state-owned oil trading company, Zhuhai Zhenrong Corporation, signed a 25-year deal to import 110 million tons of liquefied natural gas (LNG) from Iran. This was followed by a much larger deal between another of China’s state-owned oil companies, Sinopec, and Iran, signed in October 2004. This deal, worth about $100 billion, allows China to import a further 250 million tons of LNG from Iran’s Yadavaran oilfield over a 25-year period. In addition to LNG, the Yadavaran deal provides China with 150,000 barrels per day of crude oil over the same period.’(Asia Times Online)
I am pushing on with these laboured attempts of exposing the $ connections between Russia, China and Iran because China and Russia both wield the power of Veto to any UN security proposals, due to their status as permanent members (of that council).
Around the same time that the Israeli tyrant Olmert was snuggling up to the Russian president, his Iranian counterpart and nemesis, Mr. Ahmadinejad ,was making these rather inflammatory comments…
‘We have advised the Europeans that the Americans are far away, but you are the neighbours of the nations in this region…You imposed a group of terrorists… on the region. It is in your own interest to distance yourself from these criminals… This is an ultimatum. Don’t complain tomorrow….Even if we assume the Holocaust is true, then why should the Palestinians pay the price for it….We inform you that the nations are like an ocean that is welling up, and if a storm begins, the dimensions will not stay limited to Palestine, and you may get hurt’. The you he was referring to are the European states who have supported and at best turned a blind eye to years of unforgivable Israeli oppression of the Palestinians and Lebanese. These European states I can assume to include the UK. But how can I react other than with sympathy for the arab cause to end Israeli occupation and oppression and hope that the inevitable can be avoided. What did England do when the Israeli army was gleefully gutting hundreds of innocent lebenese lives and bombing their infrastructure back into the dark ages? Nothing. We did nothing…which was tantamount to condoning the carnage. The other aggravating factor behind this widening of Iran’s potential targets/enemies is English support of American efforts to push UN sanctions onto Iran without having any proof to justify the sanctions. There is NO evidence that Iran are already well on their way towards developing nuclear weapons yet the US and UK are publicly fervent campaigners for referral of the issue to the UN security council and serious action. However, despite major efforts at persuasion from various security council members, Russia would not be coerced into agreeing to any sanctions against Iran, that could lead to military action.
Mr. Olmert is living in a dream world if he thinks himself capable of causing ‘Iran to be afraid’, and this was made clear as daylight by Mr. Ahmadinejad’s closing comments in his Jerusalem day speech,
‘This(Israeli) regime, thanks to God, has lost the reason for its existence. Efforts to stabilise this fake regime, by the grace of God, have completely failed’
While I definitely could never agree with the ludicrous suggestion that Israel should be ‘wiped off the map’ as the Iranian President has repeated on numerous occasions, I do feel that they need to be ushered back behind the borders that were given to them when they originally were allocated the land in the Middle East back in the 1950s, if there is ever to be a reduction in the horrific hostilities that plague that volatile area of the world. Since moving in, the Israeli government has systematically annexed great swathes of Palestinian land and oppressed the Arab peoples who were unfortunate enough to have been given- as neighbours- an US armed Israel with Western support to do as they pleased with the region. Two wars with Lebanon, and the continued destruction, annexation and aggressive policing of land that simply doesn’t belong to the Israelis has caused a huge amount of justifiable hatred. Hatred which will reach boiling point as soon as Iran gain the technology and materials to create a nuclear bomb. Because then, at that stage, there will be an Arab power in the region who will be able to stand up the Israelis and say ‘get the fuck out of the Palestine, get the fuck away from Lebanon and get back to your own land’. But bearing in mind the Iranian leader’s comments I, and I guess Olmert and his crew, would be fools to assume that the demands would stop there. This is the terrifying position that Israel are moving towards, but could it not have been avoided by controlling the Zionist expansion policies that the West have instead allowed and America has supported in $ and weapons? ($3bn of arms are donated to Israel by the US every year and there is multi-billion dollar triangle which exists and flows between a handful of US weapons manufacturers, the US government and the Israeli government). I should mention that the IDF, Israeli Defence Force, possesses undeclared nuclear weapons and is reported to be the third most technologically advanced fighting force on the planet. Enough.
Let me try move onto some news which isn’t so distressing. Actually before I leave this story, or update as it may be, I should explain the origins of Putin’s comments about the Israeli President which started me on this murky path of $, weapons and apocalyptic threats. President Katsav is under investigation for the alleged ‘rape, forced sexual acts, sexual acts without consent and sexual harassment’ of several members of his staff. The Israeli police say they have enough evidence to make those charges stick like shit on the sole of Timberland and ‘send that ruthless, gutless, arrogant swine to the gallows’. Katsav is also under investigation for wire tapping offences. And just to set the record as straight as possible in these weird circumstances of the powerful Putin apparently showing approval of rape, a Russian spokesman has since confirmed that the comments were true(as in they were actually said) but went on to explain that the Russian leader was attempting to make fun of Olmert’s fuck-buddy. The intended humour was obviously lost in translation.
The future of humanity:Golems and Goblins.
An extravagantly imaginative theorist at the London School of Economics (shouldn’t he be concocting financial theories?), Oliver Curry, has wowed the scientific community by predicting that the human race will peak in the year 3000 then steadily decline into two sub-species. The decline would come, in Curry’s future world, as a result of humanity’s over dependence on technology…
‘The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative and a far cry from the “underclass” humans who would have evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures’ (BBC)
Life as a male human being around the year 3000 sounds intriguing with the upper genetic class of our race developing longer life spans, increased height, squarer jaws and wait for it, yes, bigger dicks. As for the ladies, well, they are going to become totally hairless, with large clear eyes and thankfully, ultra pert breasts.
Still, after that golden era penciled in for the next century has reached it’s climax, the more distant future looks far less rosy…
‘While science and technology have the potential to create an ideal habitat for humanity over the next millennium, there is a possibility of a monumental genetic hangover over the subsequent millennia due to an over-reliance on technology reducing our natural capacity to resist disease, or our evolved ability to get along with each other’, said Dr Curry
Expeditions into the deep jungle of Papua New Guinea have unearthed the discovery of up to 28 new branches of the always remarkable looking orchid family tree…
We have an orchid which lives peacefully in our bathroom here at my mother’s house. And to my eagle eyes it looks uncannily similar to a vibrant example of female genitalia. Though I am yet to test whether it feels that way when mounted from behind.
Straight from the top 100 endangered animals listings, I bring you the delightful hairy-eared dwarf lemur. Ranking as one of the smallest known primates, and found exclusively in Madagascar the little rascals only grow to about 30cm and weight a minute 80-100g. Due to their low numbers, nothing definite is known about their diet but scientists assume that they chomp nectar or plant gums. Usually found in pairs, the lemurs- probably due to their small numbers- are seldom seen in social groups larger than a maximum of 6.
The appropriately named hairy-eared dwarf lemur.
A quick read over my first attempt at a varied news report since July doesn’t bring anything but a scowl to my face. And that isn’t due solely to the typically somber tone of events, more due to the scattered approach to delivering my intended message. Still. There are a few highlights, and the average quality of the report can be heightened by reproducing a paragraph from the Dostoyevsky classic, Crime and Punishment.
And it is the gritty genius who therefore becomes my ‘Author of the week’…
The bastards almost executed him, thank fuck they didn’t. Because he went on to write several of the most exceptional texts the world has known.
‘I maintain that if the discoveries of Kepler and Newton could not have been made known except by sacrificing the lives of one, a dozen, a hundred, or more men, Newton would have had the right, would indeed have been in duty bound… to eliminate the dozen or the hundred men for the sake of making his discoveries known to the whole of humanity. But it does not follow from that that Newton had a right to murder people right and left and to steal every day in the market. Then, I remember, I maintain that all…well, legislators and leaders of men, such as Lycurgus, Solon, Mahomet, Napolean, and so on, were all without exception criminals, from the very fact that, making a new law, they transgressed the ancient one, handed down from their ancestors and held sacred by the people, and they did not stop short at bloodshed either, if that bloodshed-often of innocent persons fighting bravely in defence of ancient law-were of use to their cause. It’s remarkable, in fact, that the majority, indeed, of these benefactors and leaders of humanity were guilty of terrible carnage. In short, I maintain that all great men or even men a little out of the common, that is to say capable of giving some new word, must from their very nature be criminals-more or less, of course. Otherwise it’s hard for them to get out of the common rut; and to remain in the common rut is what they can’t submit to, from their very nature again, and to my mind they ought not, indeed, to submit to it. You see that there is nothing particularly new in all that. The same thing has been printed and read a thousand times before. As for my division of people into ordinary and extraordinary, I acknowledge that it’s somewhat arbitrary, but I don’t insist upon exact numbers. I only believe in my leading idea that men are in general divided by a law of nature into two categories, inferior (ordinary), that is, so to say, material that serves only to reproduce it’s own kind, and men who have the gift or the talent to utter a new word. There are, of course, innumerable sub-divisions, but the distinguishing features of both categories are fairly well marked. The first category, generally speaking, are men conservative in temperament and law-abiding; they live under control and love to be controlled. To my thinking it is their duty to be controlled, because that’s their vocation, and there is nothing humiliating in it for them. The second category all transgress the law; they are destroyers or disposed to destruction according to their capacities. The crimes of these men are of course relative and varied; for the most part they seek in very varied ways the destruction of the present for the sake of the better. But if such a one is forced for the sake of his idea to step over a corpse or wade through blood, he can, I maintain, find within himself, in his conscience, a sanction for wading through blood-that depends on the idea and its dimensions, note that. It’s only in that sense I speak of their right to crime. There’s no need for much anxiety, however; the masses will scarcely ever admit this right, they punish them or hang them (more or less), and in doing so fulfil quite justly their conservative vocation. But the same masses set these criminals on a pedestal in the next generation and worship them(more or less). The first category is always the man of the present, the second the man of the future. The first preserve the world and people it, the second move the world and lead it to its goal. Each class has an equal right to exist’
(above text taken from Crime and Punishment)
Heavy as hell but awe inspiring work by the Russian madman who for me ranks as one of the all time greats of Word and Thought.