What’s going on? (June 2006)

October 21, 2007

Whats going on?
Does anyone else feel that everything is going real wrong?

And that things are getting worse,
For all those concerned,
With working real hard,
To make sure enough money is earned,

So that we can pay the rent,
So that we can pay the bills,
So that we can treat ourselves now and then,
To some nice bud or a bag of pills..

Cos we need to be allowed to drift,
Take mind-altering substances to lift,
Our minds up and over the gates;
Another dimension,
Without the UK and the states…

It’s all so wrong,
Selling our lives so cheap,
We aint given a chance,
To even think real deep
Or express,
How we feel bout the mess,
In which we live,
And The lack of any kinda return on the taxes that we are forced to give…

Whats more important?
A womans breasts or her soul?
How can the the human representors of mother earth,
Be happy with their social role?

We worship their looks,
Chase the ones who show flesh over the ones who read books,
Treat them like fish, that we catch with hooks….

But thyre just as bad,
The female race makes me just as sad,
Cos the Role models are promoting what I despise,
Relationships based more on thighs,
Than eyes,
More on ass,
Than class…
And They appear to make it seem cool to fuck and forget,
Sing more about sex and money, than love and regret….

All these thoughts,
They flow like a river, combine in my head,
Stop me sleeping when I turn off the lights,
And jump in my bed,

I can’t help but feel kinda dis-connected,
Sure as hell, that for this kinda existance I cant have been selcted,
By fate,
Unless I led a previous life full of evil and hate.

It all builds up
Then washes over me like a wave,
as I realize that I can have nothing at all of what I crave,
Just the dreams, and a living nightmare,
Where I search but cant seem to find the one person,
With whom I could share,
Every single one of the thoughts and emotions that I bear….

i just dont know
If im just seeking an impossible pefection,
Or does anyone else agree,
That so much in our world is in need of mad correction????


pure venom in my face (april 07)

October 13, 2007

My heart has been battered,
Hung, drawn and quartered,
Dreams and plans rounded up in a line,
Then ruthlessly slaughtered…

By a girl,
And the lies she sold me,
She spat pure venom in my face,
While I stood there three weeks ago, begging her to just hold me…

Yeh there were some tears in her eyes,
But behind them was Hate,
She said she felt Nothing,
When only a few months back she was telling me that I was her Dream Lover, her Dream mate…

I had believed in her words,
When she swore to be my wife,
I had believed in her Love,
Which she showed me was the most important thing in her Life…

She was all my Dreams come true,
and I was the happiest man on Earth,
She called me morning day and night to express her devotion,
Filling me with the warmest kinda Self Worth..

But now I see,
That she wasn’t seeking me,
That she isn’t the angel she has made herself out to be…

Because She changed me like a jumper,
Went from my arms into another man’s bed,
And since she left me on my birthday,
I have been horribly fucked up in the head…

Not sleeping, nor eating,
Letting myself get painfully down,
While I chased in vain after the girl I was planning on dressing in a beautiful wedding gown……

All these years I believed her devotion was True,
That she meant it when she looked into my eyes and said softly: ‘Dan, I love you’

But it seems now, that I was Wrong,
And that for nearly four years she has been lying,
Never did I imagine that she would be snorting coke, fucking another man,
While I was marooned in the flat and unable to stop crying….

Her insecurity and selfishness,
has reduced my heart to ashes,
But from the embers,
new flames are showing in flashes…

thoughts on dreams…

October 5, 2007

I have various ideas about the DreamWorld. All of which, if put together, would make this ‘note’ a novel. Fortunately there are two ideas in particular that I have subscribed to for many years.
The first of which is by no means universally accepted but something nonetheless I almost know to be true… All life is connected. Creatures who enjoy a seriously strong bond, become strongly connected. Souls can become intertwined, wrapped around each other so tightly that thoughts and feelings can pass between the souls. So, if John has a strong bond with Sharon, and they are apart, it is possible for some of John’s feelings and thoughts to appear in the soul of Sharon, in her dreams…In short, connections in the dream world can be as Real as connections in the Waking Life, two parties can be connected through a dream, both affected, but in different ways…

The second main idea, one which is widely accepted by scientists and non scientists alike, is this: Dreams are a show of our inner most feelings and thoughts, creations spawned by the deepest parts of our being, our soul. They illustrate our Real desires, hopes, loves, fears and concerns. The sub-conscience soul doesn’t lie, it just IS. And it is that area which comes alive when we sleep, when we dream. The more vivid the dream, the more powerful the seed in the soul it has grown from. Our sub-conscience doesn’t speak the same language as our conscience, it hasn’t been taught English, and expresses itself not through a string of sentences, like my conscience is doing now as I write this note, but as Dreams filled with symbolism. It works in symbols…

apocalypse now…(23rd September)

October 5, 2007

I was wrapping a piece of halibut steak, rapidly but with practiced efficiency, when the power to the Store was suddenly cut. As there are only windows at the front of the building, most of the Store went pitch black…For a few seconds there was silence, an eerie lack of human sound, expressing the weirdness of nobody knowing what to do…It wasn’t long before a joker screamed, which set of a staggered ripple of laughter throughout the stunned customers and staff. Then the back up generator kicked in, and Light was restored…Other than briefly mentioning the horrifying task of disposing of thousands of pounds worth of fresh produce- food that despite passing the magic ’30 minute rule’ was still viable for consumption-we can leave that saga there. It was those first few seconds of Darkness which I want to focus upon…

When that main power unit died and with it the torches of light which allow us humans to move around like busy bees in a hive, my first thought was ‘It has Started…’. My mind was referring to a nuclear explosion in the UK. The beginning of a war that has been building since Einstein first uncovered the science which would later be used to devise bombs capable of destroying countries, maybe even whole planets. Heavy thoughts indeed. But I wasn’t tensing up, in fact I was relaxed and at peace…perhaps even silently excited by the prospect of the obliteration of the World as I know it, and the Dawning of a New World, a New Age of Humanity. An end to the reign of the current megalomaniac killer priests who are running Us and this planet into the fucking ground…

I mentioned my thoughts to a few colleagues after the back-up generator had started sporadically providing periods of light. They laughed. Out of nervous fear or assuming I was joking. But I wasn’t telling a yarn for the sake of a few smiles. The thoughts had come to me very clearly, from a soul of brutal awareness and vivid imagination.

While we go about our daily lives in this country…working jobs we don’t enjoy but which give us enough money to survive and play with at the weekend, doing our bit to keep the sharp cogs of our society well oiled and turning, losing ourselves in chemical escape to dull the pain of Existence. Creating new mouths to feed out of selfishness disguised as the instinct to reproduce. Compromising our individuality for security, choosing superficiality over spirituality, decimating the very forces from whence we arrived in this World…while we continue to support and advocate the very system which homes us, war is brewing.

There are millions of people screaming everyday for my head on a stick. For the fierce destruction of me and my leaders. It isn’t a personal vendetta. I know that. However, I don’t wish the same onto them. Because they have reason for wishing the UK razed to the ground. And that reason, simply put, is that some of the tax money we pay is used to send our powerful military machine to areas of the world where we cause more Death than Peace. You and I pay for it.

fighting guns with love and peace…

October 3, 2007

( Sunday 1/10/07)

Armed only with love, tranquility and commendable hope for peace and solidarit for all sentient beings, the Buddhist monks of Myanmar are on the march…For the last two weeks the streets of Rangoon and other urban hubs of the tropical South East Asian nation, have been awash with saffron robed skinheads who are making a brave stand against the despotic military junta who have ruled with an iron fist since 1962.

The last time there were major protests in the country was 1990 when the pro-democracy party was legitimately voted into power by the people. The losing anti-democracy posse(the goons with the guns) had the military at their command, and rather than show humility in the face of defeat, opted to declare themselves the victors….The denizens revolted but the uprising was ruthlessly crushed. Thousands died as the junta confirmed their position as unchallengeable rulers.

During the 19 years that followed, the international community has increasingly frowned upon and isolated the bloodthirsty regime through sanctions and bullish rhetoric. As if to root their authority as deeply as possible in the Myanaman psyche, a new capital was created and the country’s name was changed to Burma. Life was made bearable for the army, whilst the civilians were raped of their Rights.

Any form of dissent is crushed, the media is tightly controlled and opposition party members are routinely imprisoned…In effect the country is characterized by a complete and all pervading lack of democracy. It is no surprise that a recent survey by Transparency International awarded Burma the dubious honour of World’s most Corrupt Country (shared with Somalia, which hasn’t had a semblance of organized government since 1991).

Poverty is rife in modern-day Burma, though there are considerable natural resources, in the shape of off-shore gas and oil, just itching to be exploited. Despite the lack of international trading partners the military junta has continued to reign supreme. But last month, in late August of this year, when they decided to double the cost of fuel, they went too far. They squeezed too hard. Adding a couple of pennies onto the cost of a litre of unleaded petrol in the UK may ultimately result in job-losses but if Gordon Brown decided to double it to 1.80 (ish) per litre, there would be riots on the streets, blockades at the ports, lynch mobs heading towards 10 Downing Street with murderous intent.

We are protected in this country. To a degree. A degree which is gradually being eroded by powermongers hell-bent on turning this nation into a police state. But in comparison to Burma, we have it easy…Because if I take to the streets to march in protest at the decisions of my government, they won’t shoot me (though this may change in the next decade).

Bearing in mind the thousands of people slaughtered in ’88, going up against the Burmese Military Junta has been for many years a path only for those who are so close to expiration, so lacking the means of survival, that they are propelled by self preservation instincts to face the forces responsible for their dilemma.

The Buddhist monks are revered in Burma. They offer alternative routes to education for the poverty stricken and regularly pour their energies into spiritual routines which are aimed at benefiting society as a whole. While the most committed Monks make up only a small portion of the population (500,000/ 47,000,000) a staggering 90% of Burmese folk are Buddhists with most civilians spending at least some time in their lives amongst the Buddhist communities.

The monks march has been about Democracy. It was about bringing an end to the oppressive rule of a group of crazy Generals who are whipping the people of Burma to the brink of starvation and hopelessness. Up to 100,000 saffron robed monks were defiantly walking the streets over these last few weeks. The World has seen them. Their goal of highlighting to the World the plight of their countrymen has been achieved but the reaction, in terms of Action and Aid, while sympathetic, has been on the whole reserved and muted. As I write this, the sum total action of the UN amounts to sending an representative to the region who has yet to be afforded the pleasure of meeting with the ruling Generals…

Although some restraint was shown in the early days of the recent attempts at revolution, the government has now cracked down hard on the peace loving spiritual gurus and their supporters. A handful of people have been shot, several monasteries have been smashed to pieces and the word from the Ministry of Religious Affairs is chilling
““If the monks go against the rules and regulations in the authority of Buddhist teachings, we will take action under the existing law, the protest marches in the streets are just a tactic that was systematically plotted from outside the country…’ (The Times)

It is unclear how many protestors, monks or otherwise, have been killed or imprisoned (official figures released by the Burmese government cannot be trusted) but it is increasingly clear that something very heavy has put a stop to the public outcry of despair.

Already the story has been moved off the list of headlines of the major news syndicates, with more pressing issues like the Conservatives plans to slash inheritance tax in the UK taking it’s place…So has the March of the Monks actually made a difference??? To those with a heart and mind who have read of the events; Yes. But not to the people in power around the globe who can actually make decisions which could improve the situation.

While our army is spread out across the World fighting illegal wars for all the Wrong reasons, there are plenty of places like Burma, which are screaming out for help in their True Quests for liberation and democracy. Yet our government ignores them. This calls to mind the Palestinian elections of last year in which Hamas were put in power only to have the American government refuse to recognize them as the country’s leaders. Bush demanded democratic elections, saw them, but didn’t like the winners. If he, and Gordon Brown (or former fuck-buddy Tony Blair) were really interested in Democracy, Liberation, saving lives instead of taking lives; then our combined armed forces would be in Sudan, Somalia, Burma, and North Korea…If some of my taxes were going towards actually helping people around the globe, I would be far happier paying them, and also far more supportive of the government which runs the show where I currently exist.

The Monks March has taught us nothing other than: You cannot fight bullets and batons with Love and Peace. You can try, but you will lose every-time.

If I think about that too deeply I quickly reach the conclusion that while I personally try to adopt bits and pieces of the Buddhist doctrine in my day to day life, there is simply far too much scum on the planet- willing to skin me alive- making a full-time effort at understanding and adopting the core spiritual teachings anything but a road to ruin…So the best policy seems to be: Strive for compassion for all living beings, spread good vibrations whenever possible, avoid Scum, and be ready to Fight tooth and claw for Survival.

killers in the mist…

October 2, 2007

True beauty can be found in abundance in Nature. A statement which is validated whenever I find myself staring with amazement at the intricacy and strength of a spider’s web, the deep, bloody red of a rose in full blossom, the ultra fine dust like rain falling to Earth in continuously dancing waves of rain particles…There is perfection in Nature, a balance sustained by powers I can’t begin to fathom, let alone attempt to define.

True beauty lies in the Wilderness, but this beauty can be cruel as well as warming to the senses. Looks can Kill. And with that in mind, I will now deliver a brief outline of a list of plant-life which can prove fatal when mixed with human beings…


The bulbs of the vibrant Narcissus -or as it is more commonly known, The Daffodil- are toxic enough to cause cramps, the shits, vomiting and nausea, if consumed in large quantities. Before the golden plumes erupt from the buds the plant is sometimes mistaken for an onion. Much to the discomfort of the unfortunate soul who succumbs to such confusion. Hardly the plant of choice for an assassin, the daffodil is nonetheless one to avoid bringing to the dining table.


Rhododendron, like the daffodil, flowers in Spring with colour and delightful form. The leaves of this plant, and also the honey made by it’s nectar is a sure-fire path to disaster. Your mouth will burn red with rage, your skin will be prickled with invisible thorns, and your heart’s natural rhythm could be reduced to an erratic, laboured beat. Serious enough to put you in a coma or even kill you outright. Steer clear of this one.

3. Oleander

Most of the plants on this list offer threats from either their flowers or their nectar, but the Oleander is different. Every part of this femme fatale is highly toxic and will produce similar affects in the human body to the Rhododendron. The roots, the stem, the petals, it will all cause you no end of suffering. Burning the deadly beauty creates poisonous gas which if inhaled causes the same symptoms. If she gets you, and you are lucky enough to reach a doctor not coked out of his brains, you will be fed charcoal. Which is supposed to absorb the toxin…

4. Foxglove

With such wonderful nicknames as Witches Thimbles, Fairy Bells, Rabbit Flower and it’s most common label, FoxGlove, I am unable to resist including Digitalis Pupurea on this rap sheet. It is a truly gorgeous plant. Layers of white bells hug together loosely around a delicate green stem. Attractive to look at, but not to eat. Consumption of any part of the FoxGlove will invite a potentially dangerous change to your heart-rate, vomiting, pain in the mouth and dioreha. Ordering a dish of this siren of the forest leads to a Stomach Pumping session at the hospital followed by charcoal dinners for a month.

5. Castor beans

The most poisonous plant known to man is called the Castor Bean. Contained in these seeds is a toxin called Ricin, which is extremely dangerous to humans if consumed, inhaled or injected. It works it’s insidious black magic by halting the production of proteins in it’s victims. Without the proteins the body begins to die. Just one of these little hotcakes down the hatch and you initiate a countdown, of 2-3 days, to death. Some people do survive, but only if they pass safely through that 2-3 day period when the attack on your body’s cells is at it’s peak…Ricin can be separated from the seeds through the process of making castor oil. The poison achieved international fame through implication in the assassination of Bulgarian journalist named Markov in 1978, who was attacked whilst living in exile in the UK. His killer managed to inject a small amount of ricin into his body via the sharpened tip of an umbrella…With no known antidote or vaccine to the substance, of which just a 1/1000th of a gram could kill a man, soon after Markov’s death Ricin was moved onto the List of Potential weapons for BioTerrorism. Avoid at all costs.